We are getting closer to being able to formally start working with an agency and get some clearer goals in mind, like specific country, estimated time frame, and finally a specific child!
It would be a whole lot easier to travel this adoption journey for me if I could see it all laid out in detail. Then, I could check things off my list (I love check lists!), and see what’s next. “Oh,” I could say, “there is a delay scheduled in here. No problem, I see what is coming in the next step.” But where is the faith and trust in that scenario? No, many things in our lives are not clearly understood in the moment. God gives us just enough information so that we can obey Him. But he doesn’t give us more than we really need, so that we have reason to trust Him each step of the way.
I love how Dave Harvey summed it up in his book Rescuing Ambition.
“Do you feel called in a direction but are uncertain about what will happen? God’s design in that is to drive you to dependence upon him. Have you noticed how your desperation for God increases with the uncertainty in your life? The new job, the new child, that new ministry – all of a sudden we’re desperate for God. We’re starved, needy, ravished by a hunger to hear. God delights to put us in this position because it postures us to depend on him and to exercise faith toward him. It’s part of how he rescues us from misplaced security. … Risk rescues us from misplaced security by anchoring us in the eternal.”
And so, I am thankful that in this adoption journey (as in all of life), I do not know how it will all play out. But I know the One in whom I can trust.